Gentlemen, it’s time we had a serious talk about your balls.
Given that this is a golf site, and we talk about balls all the time, and that the very mention of balls already hints at double entendre, I should probably clarify.
I’m talking, in very specific terms, about your testicles.
Yeah, I know this is awkward, but we’re men. We can handle it.
Sack-up, summon up every bit of testicular fortitude you can muster, do whatever it is you need to do to gather yourself because, we’re about to have a serious chat about what is inarguably the single most universally-loved product among the members of the MyGolfSpy staff.
It has the power to change your life.
It’s underwear, and I’m not kidding about any of this.
It’s Just That Good
Quite frankly, this product should have been included in our 2015 Editor’s choice awards. It was an easy choice for our favorite apparel item, and I would personally have ZERO reservations about naming it product of the year, but we left it off that list because we felt it deserves its own story, and because we thought some of you might think this entire conversation is more than a little strange.
But then again, I feel like we should all be less afraid of awkward conversations, so if they ain’t already, things are about to get weird.
If it’s of any consolation, I’m not about to show you any photos that can’t be unseen, but nevertheless, it is part of MyGolfSpy’s mission to identify products that are demonstrably better than what our readers might have in their bags (or in this case, what they have their bags in), and it’s our job to make sure you hear about them.
So in the spirit of making your lives a little bit better, allow me to inform you thusly:
Guys, there’s a better way to carry your bags, a better way to store your shafts and balls.
Is this unclear to any of you? Let me be direct. I’m talking about your penises.
The Joey Pouch
So what makes 2UNDR amazing enough for MyGolfSpy to put on the front page? What makes 2UNDR better than what you’re wearing right now? Two words, man:
According to the guys at 2UNDR:
More to the point, the Joey Pouch is a clever bit of brilliantly-placed fabric that keeps your twigs and berries separate from the rest of the tree (your body and more specifically, your legs).
That separation keeps you (and your boys) comfortable in ways you’ve never imagined. No heat transfer, no sticking, no pulling, and no need for your daily dose of Gold Bond, Johnson’s & Johnson’s, or whatever else it is you might shake on when it’s hot outside in order to maintain some semblance of control over your equipment.
It gets sticky down there. You know it (if not, what’s that powder for?), I know it, everybody with testicles knows it, and yet nobody talks about it, and so, for the most part, nobody has ever tried to do much of anything about it.
Well, 2UNDR finally did something about it. Their Joey Pouch puts you back in control. You deserve that.
To be sure, the Joey Pouch requires an adjustment period of a day or two, and yeah, you’ll need to lift, twist, squirm and otherwise manipulate your stuff to get everything initially tucked away in the pouch, but once it becomes familiar (and it won’t take long), you’ll wonder why underwear makers forced you to go so long without it.
Those sons of bitches…
We’re Just Getting Started
In addition to the Joey Pouch, all 2 UNDR models feature The No-Drip-Tip, which helps to wick away moisture regardless of whether it comes from sweat or…well, let’s not get into that. Let’s just agree that moisture comes from a variety of places and move on.
While you’d think that by late 2015, something as basic as a fly, would be standard issue on every pair of men’s underwear, it’s not, so we should probably also mention that all 2UNDR products feature a fly for relative ease of access.
You’ve Got Options
Want variety? You’re covered. 2UNDR underwear is available in 4 different models/style as, a multitude of colors, and soon to be stripes and patterns.
The MyGolfSpy staff favorite is definitely the Swing Shift. It’s made from a blend of 95% Modal and 5% spandex. It’s perfect for daily wear, the golf course, or basically anywhere else in-between. It’s exceptionally soft and breathable. Available in 3” or 6” inseams, the Swing Shift outsells all other 2UNDR styles by a ratio of 5 to 1. It’s what I personally think you should buy.
While some of you might prefer the quick drying polyester-blend fabric for daily wear, most will find the Gear Shift and Power Shift better suited for serious athletic endeavors, hardcore workouts, or perhaps a few sets of really deep squats. The Gear and Power Shift styles have their place, but for golfers, neither is perhaps everyday underwear.
In addition to the Joey Pouch and No-Drip-Tip, the Gear Shift and Power Shift adds what 2UNDR calls a Swass Patch to the back which helps prevent, well, let’s call it what it is, sweaty, or swamp ass.
Seriously, 2UNDR not only had the balls to acknowledge that Swamp Ass, while perhaps not a medically-diagnosable condition, is a real problem, and then they actually did something about it.
Can I get a comfortably dry golf clap for these guys?
As far as the differences between the two are concerned, the motocross-inspired Gear Shift features a gear pattern on the waistband, and inseams from 8.5” to 9.5”. At the request of some of 2UNDR’s NHL players, inseams on the Power Shift start at 9” and will soon be available up to 12”.
The Power Shift also includes COLDSKIN fabric in the Joey Pouch (helps to dissipate heat and can reduce temperatures by 2 to 6 degrees), and offers an extended SWASS patch. We’re talking about the ultimate in chafe-free gentle nad-huggers.
Finally, for the traditionalist moving out of tighty whities or other old-school cotton variants, 2UNDR’s Day Shift offers a cotton modal blend, which should feel a bit more familiar. Currently, availability of the Day Shift is limited, but we’re told a variety of new for 2016 patterns will be available shortly.
Is 2UNDR Really Better?
You’re damned right it is.
Ingrained in my personal belief structure is the notion that one should never skimp on his socks or his underwear. I’ve never hesitated to spend money on either. Seriously, your underwear touches your man parts nearly 24/7/365, are you seriously going to cut corners to save a buck?
For the most part, I got what I paid for over the years. My Calvin Kleins were good. Tommy John…even better, but after adding 2UNDR to the rotation, the shortcomings of everything else in the drawer became more obvious than a pair of sagging balls peeking out of frayed boxer shorts. Having zero separation and walking around with everything basically stuck together is no way to go through life. Everything else in the drawer sucked, and so I bought more 2UNDR.
And then…you know how it is…in summer especially…your’re busy. Laundry doesn’t get done, and so I sometimes ran out of clean 2UNDR; a problem with which me and the boys are no longer comfortable, and so I bought more, and more again, to the point where I’ve basically thrown away everything without a Joey Pouch.
I wear them every day, and home, on the course, and everywhere in-between. I’ve told everybody I possible could about them. Now I’m telling you.
You may not believe any of this, so you may not know it yet, but believe me, you’re welcome.
It’s a story echoed by others on staff here…Adam, Tim, Zinger, Dan. We’re all converts. Dave is desperate to get his pair into a pair.
We don’t just recommend 2UNDR; we spend our own money on it. Quite a bit of it as it turns out, and I’m completely good with that.
Try 2UNDR Now or Regret it Later
How life-changing is 2UNDR? Look under your seat, Oprah wants to give you (and you, and you, and you) a pair.
Not really. I lied.
As much as I’d love to give each and every one of you a pair, 2UNDR wasn’t totally on-board with that plan. What we can do is offer you 20% off your entire order.
Fill-up your cart with as many pair of 2UNDR and then use the code GOLFSPY20 at checkout.
This isn’t your first discount code. You know how this works.
Two Final Considerations
Firstly, while your actual mileage may vary, I find that 2UNDR run just a bit large. Depending on the season I’m generally between a 34” and 36” waist. In most brands that puts me in a large. With 2UNDR, I’ve found a medium to be the better fit.
Secondly, If you do purchase a pair you may find yourself all but forced to replace every pair of underwear you own with 2UNDR. I basically have.
Chances are that your current underwear sucks, 2UNDR will force you to acknowledge it. Once you’re in, there’s no comfortably going back.
You’ve been warned.
I could say more, but I think this conversation, while necessary, has been awkward-enough, so I’ll leave you with one final set of instructions.
Buy at least one pair of 2UNDR, try them, come back to thank me.
For more information or to experience the awesome for yourself, visit 2UNDR.com.