Callaway is dropping limited-edition golf balls faster than you drop another after shanking one into a water hazard and, honestly, I’m here for it.
The latest limited-edition Chrome Tour “Turnbox” might be my favorite yet, for whatever that’s worth.
This collection pays homage to one of the most important places on any golf course: the turn stand. You know, that magical oasis between the ninth green and 10th tee where dreams of breaking 80 collide with the reality that you’re actually on pace to shoot 95 but, hey, at least there are hot dogs.
All you need is six birdies on the back to make the round respectable.
The magnificent four
As with most of Callaway’s other limited-edition releases, the Chrome Tour Turnbox includes four distinct designs, each representing a different member of golf’s essential food pyramid.
Hamburger – Because nothing says “I’m taking this seriously” like a perfectly grilled patty between the ninth and 10th holes.
Bag of chips – The universal golf course side dish that somehow costs $4 and tastes like it time traveled from 1987.
Hot dog – The cylindrical champion of turn stands everywhere. A salty, processed tube of questionable meat that pairs perfectly with missed putts and false hope (and in the case of my buddy, Andy, a sprint the Porta Potty on the back of 16). True story.
Ice Cold Beer– My personal favorite. Officially beer, It’s a can of whatever you need it to be, which, I suppose, is the official drink of “I know I’m playing poorly, but at least I’m kinda hydrated and slightly buzzed.”
Performance benefits? Not exactly
Above and beyond the fact that these are Chrome Tours (Callaway’s “New Gold Standard”), there isn’t any performance benefit to the design: unless you count using the hot dog as an alignment aid to point your wiener at the target … sorry, that was juvenile.
These balls won’t make you a better golfer but they sure are fun. And different.
And did I mention fun?
The bottom line
Look, we all know you’re not buying these for the hex aerodynamics. You’re buying them because they make you smile, because they’ll get a laugh from your playing partners and because, deep down, we all need a little more joy in our golf games.
Whether you’re the type who actually stops at the turn for sustenance or the type who powers through with nothing but spite and determination, the Turnbox collection is a playful nod to one of golf’s great traditions: overpriced concession stand food that somehow tastes better when you’re three over par.
Chrome Tour Turnbox is available now, probably until they sell out.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go practice my putting with a ball that looks like a hamburger. For science.
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