WTGL Names Paige Spiranac Captain Of Big Knockers Team

In an effort to pump up interest for its upcoming inaugural season, the WTGL has announced that noted influencer and former professional golfer Paige Spiranac has been added to its playing roster.

Spiranac, who has more than four million Instagram followers and was a star at last summer’s Internet Invitational, has been named captain of the newly created Arizona Big Knockers team.

The squad will begin play next winter during WTGL’s opening campaign.

“I am ecstatic to join WTGL as we look to introduce women’s golf to a national audience,” Spiranac said. “I love competition. I usually perform better when there’s a little pressure on me. I know I have my doubters but you would be surprised what I can do with the right club in my hands.”

Joining Spiranac on the Big Knockers team is fellow influencer Claire Hogle. The other member will be announced at a later date to complete the threesome.

“We really think they make a nice pair,” said TMRW Sports CEO Mike McCarley. “These are two well-rounded individuals who will bring personality. We expect a lot of golf fans will enjoy coming to WTGL.”

WTGL has already unveiled a handful of players in its lineup. Jeeno Thitikul, Charley Hull, Lydia Ko, Lexi Thompson, Brooke Henderson, Rose Zhang, Lottie Woad and Michelle Wie West will be a part of the efforts.

Despite the star power, league organizers have remain concerned the LPGA Tour players are not enough to draw consistent fan interest. The men’s TGL has struggled to draw viewers and there is a fear the women won’t be able to support their own league.

That’s where Spiranac and Hogle come into play. It’s hoped that their millions of followers on social media will tune into the weekly telecast.

As part of the team being announced, the Arizona Big Knockers have unveiled a logo as well as a customized golf hole that will be played during the WTGL season.

The new logo (right) displays an upright cactus with two golf balls. According to league officials, the two golf balls symbolize the popular “Arizona two-step” dance.

“That is absolute bullshit,” one commenter wrote on Twitter. “The golf balls are clearly tits. Whatever. I’m still going to watch.”

As for the customized golf hole, reports indicate that the Big Knockers are reinventing the concept of sim golf by introducing two large circular greens that each have a hole directly in the middle. Both greens are volcano holes with slopes falling off in all directions. Golfers get to choose which green to aim. As an interesting wrinkle, one green is slightly larger than the other.

“It will be hard for everyone to tell which one it is until we’re on the green,” Hogle said. “Fans will just have to watch and feel it out for themselves.”

There is a possibility of the Big Knockers introducing a third hole that will only be open for special occasions.

The Big Knockers are also expected to use unconventional uniforms, no surprise given Spiranac’s long-standing fight against golf’s traditional dress code.

“Our team color is gentle spray tan,” Spiranac said as she held up a tank top that was identical to her own skin color. “I think the crowd will be on our side.”

Another key difference will be how the Big Knockers team enters the arena. While the LPGA pros are walking through a tunnel with a smoke machine, the Big Knockers will be cascading down from the rafters as each player spins on a pole and playfully blows kisses into the crowd while “Pony” by Genuine plays throughout SoFi Center.

Some fans have expressed concern that WTGL is rigged. Despite the playoff system originally being four of the top six teams entering the semifinals, officials have amended that concept and given the Big Knockers an automatic bye into the championship round.

At press time, WTGL had received a sudden throb of ticket requests.

Editor’s Note: This story is a part of MyGolfSpy’s April Fools’ series. As with many of the references within, this article is not real.