Golf offers plenty of legitimate reasons to apologize.
Hitting into the group ahead? Apologize. Talking through someone’s swing? Say you’re sorry. Giving a playing partner an unsolicited lesson that somehow lasts six holes? Straight to jail for that one, actually.
But we also apologize for things that don’t inconvenience anyone. Things we feel guilty about.
Somewhere along the way, ordinary preferences started requiring an explanation.
Here are seven that shouldn’t, point blank.
1. Not being very good at golf
It’s first on the list for good reason.
Almost every golfer has, at some point, introduced themselves with a disclaimer for their lack of skill level.
It’s understandable to do that when you’re meeting strangers on the first tee. You’re trying to lower expectations and reassure everyone that you recognize your limitations.
But you paid to play, too.
And you want to hear the truth? Even the best golfers in the world just want their playing partners to move things along. Be a decent person and play quickly. That’s it!
A topped drive doesn’t require a public statement. Neither does your third attempt to escape a bunker.
You can acknowledge a bad shot without apologizing for taking up space on the course.
2. Declining to gamble
I once went on a media trip where I got paired with multiple influencers (I recommend avoiding such a situation at all costs).
I get to the first tee and I had never met any of them before. One of the guys announces that we are playing 2 v. 2 for $100 per nine and his team is giving our team a stroke per hole.
Didn’t even ask for my handicap. Didn’t even introduce himself first.
Please don’t be like this guy.
I know every inch of advertising is now taken up by sports gambling but some of us have no appetite for gambling on the course. Or, at the very least, it’s situational whether we want to participate (playing for a hot dog or a $5 nassau is a little different than $100 per nine).
You can enjoy a competitive round without putting money on it.
Be clear before the round begins and let the others arrange their game. You can still celebrate a good shot, care about your score and have a perfectly enjoyable time.
No need to apologize whatsoever. And, for the record, the same concept applies to drinking alcohol.
3. Enjoying golf without making improvement a project
Hot take here but you can play golf without caring whether you are getting better at it.
Some golfers want a lower handicap badly enough to organize their weeks around it. Lessons, practice plans and detailed statistics are part of the pleasure. And that’s awesome! We live for that here at MGS.
Other golfers want to play when they can and hope for a few good shots.
Both approaches are legitimate. It’s honestly OK either way!
You don’t owe anyone a practice schedule because your short game needs work. You don’t have to turn every poor round into evidence that you should be taking the game more seriously.
There is room for ambition—if you want it. There should also be room for a golfer who knows exactly how inconsistent he or she is, likes the game anyway and has other things they want to do with their time.
Apologize when your behavior makes someone else’s round worse. You don’t need to apologize for choosing the version of golf that fits your life.
4. Carrying clubs that other golfers find embarrassing
Now we’re really getting to the center of the onion.
A chipper. Several hybrids. Super game-improvement irons. A fairway wood old enough to have a college degree.
If a club helps you play a shot, that is a sufficient reason to carry it. Period.
You don’t have to explain that you’re “just trying it” or that you normally use something more respectable. There isn’t a panel waiting beside the first tee to assess whether your bag looks accomplished enough or whether every club is legal.
The same goes for inexpensive equipment. A mismatched set assembled over several years doesn’t require an apology to the golfer with matching headcovers.
The useful question is whether you trust the club and it serves a purpose. What somebody else thinks of its appearance can stay somebody else’s concern.
5. Moving up a tee box (or two, or three …)
“I usually play farther back, but …”
You don’t need the rest of that sentence. If you have read a lot of MGS articles, you know we are huge advocates for playing from the appropriate yardage based on your skill level.
If a shorter course gives you a more enjoyable round, choose it. You don’t owe the group an explanation about your age, an old injury or what your driver used to carry.
Tee it up at the 150-yard marker for all I care.
There is something strange about treating the opportunity to hit more greens or go for more par-5s in two as a concession. Golfers buy equipment, take lessons and practice specifically to make the game more manageable and fun. Then they hesitate to use a tee box that might accomplish the same thing?
6. Playing alone
There is a big push right now to normalize going to the movies alone. I love that.
The same concept applies to golf.
You don’t need to explain why you showed up without three friends. It’s cool.
Maybe spending a few hours on your own was the entire point.
A solo round can be one of golf’s great pleasures. You have time to think, concentrate on your shots or enjoy being outdoors without having to keep a conversation going. It can be cathartic.
If the course pairs you with other players, be friendly and considerate. But arriving alone doesn’t require a story about the friend who canceled. You’re allowed to enjoy your own company.
7. Ending the round after a weird number of holes
I’ve written about this a lot so it should come as no surprise that I’m here to defend the golfer who doesn’t want to play a full 18 holes.
I have a young son now and it’s hard to find such a large chunk of time.
This past week, I went out to my home course (GreyStone Golf Club in Dickson, Tenn.) and played 15 holes. Yes, I quit with three holes left so I could make it back for my son’s bath time.
I’m not in a tournament and I wasn’t hurting anyone else by stopping. You can stop anytime you want!
If you found time to play golf, that should count as a successful outcome.
There are practical reasons to tell your group in advance, especially when arranging a game or splitting transportation. Once that’s handled, there’s nothing inadequate about your plan.
Six holes, nine holes, 12 holes, 15 holes. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.
A round doesn’t become worthwhile only when you reach the 18th green. I promise.
So that is my list. What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments below.
Kurt
2 weeks ago
I cannot tell you how many times people apologize for being new at Golf or “I’m not very good “. No one cares. We have all been there. No one cares how good you are, they do care how fast you play however. Be ready when it’s your shot. No reason to adjust all the clubs in your bag and calculate your score while the next group is waiting to hit into the green. Take your putter into the cart and drive away. You can put it back when you pull your driver on the next tee.
Be aware on the course. Be considerate of the other groups playing the course. You get to the 19th hole faster or play 36!